i ain't gonna say that.

stupid cat.

what do you mean, domesticated feline- can you really call a cat domesticated when it comes up behind one of your birds that lives in the backyard and attacks it?

there are feathers all over the yard, and the wind isn't helping.

i wanted to save a feather- just one feather!- to remind me of the bird that lived in our yard for at least 3 years. so long that it wasn't even afraid of me.
but before i could take a feather my mom swept most of them up and dumped them in the trash. right before my eyes.

and what was i supposed to say? "No! don't do it, i want to save a feather to remember the birds!" yea right. i'm not a little kid. i'm not little miss kimmy. i'm not 3' 5" anymore. i'm 5' 3". i don't need to save something to remember them, i'm too big for that.
but i was sitting at the computer for the entire afternoon, and there was only one feather left, right in the middle of the patio, ready to blow away if there was a stonger gust of wind, and almost every 1/2 hour i would remember the birds- no, i would try to imagine the struggle between the cat and that poor, poor bird, like a little kid, like i was little miss kimmy, 3' 5" and not likely to grow taller than 5 feet.

i couldn't take it anymore. i jumped up, threw open the sliding door, grabbed the puny feather and shoved it in my pocket like a worthless relic- prized, and yet not cared for at the same time- grabbed the shoes outside, and explained to mom the cause for running outside into the cold and bringing the shoes back in: "the shoes are going to be soaked if there's a lot of humidity tonight."

i ran into my room and put my prized relic onto one of my bookcases, and later, my mom came in with a very weird face, asking me why there were 3 pairs of shoes and sandals on my bed. i just can't trust my own memory, to put the shoes by the hallway. and what was i supposed to say: "um...well...the reason for going outside was to actually pick up a feather so i can remember the birds that lived in our house for so long, because if you really want to know the truth, i loved those birds, and i will miss them, i'll miss their chirping and their inseperableness, and the love they had for each other, becuase, really, if you think about it, you barely ever see that in people."

forget it. i ain't gonna say that.