Innoncence

remember the time when people were just good or bad
but mostly good?

you trusted everyone; until DARE told you not to accept candy from strangers, and then you wondered, "Why?"

people were one faced; what you saw in public was what you would expect to see at home, at school, they would have the same personality everywhere.

remember the time when you didn't understand why your parents would go to a party and come back annoyed because of some of the people there- and you thought they were perfectly wonderful because they had a jumping house for you and all the other little kids?

and you couldn't understand why your mom didn't like those certain people in your family and you couldn't understand why- they always gave really nice Christmas presents!

those times- i cherish. the world was just one big piece, so simple, so easy to understand, every question was easy to answer, no thinking involved.

and now- i see people so much differently, i try to look for the second face before i see their first face.

as we get older, we try to see the whole picture of everyone, their entire personality, we try to guess what they're like when they're not in public. we look for the secret part of everyone.

it's just not like it used to be.

and in some ways, that's okay.

we can't live our life feeling cheated, in the end, because as it turns out-

those people in the party were all stuck up and conceited,

and it turns out that those certain people in my family that my mother doesn't like

are unemployed and are asking for money and to stay at our house-

and now, i ask- why doesn't he have a job? what happened to him? is he lazy? i don't want a lazy person in our house. did he ever do something bad?

and to think that i used to like him, just because of a nice christmas present he bought me, years and years ago.

------------------

i'm posting at 7 in the morning. don't know why. so please don't ask, because it is truly a little embarassing.