2007: IT HAPPENED

2007 will be over in around 3 hours, and it seems like each minute is passing by faster and faster. These past 365 days have been the most amazing of my life. each experience that i went through, i learned something new, something that made me smarter than before, stronger than ever. it's so hard to believe that just this january- JUST this january, i was a freshman. and it's even harder to believe that in the year of 2008, i'll be a junior. and next year starts tomorrow.
saying that i LOVED 2007 is an understatement. i cherished every moment, i wished it would drag on and on, and now, looking back...i wish that every second that had meaning to me would last forever.
saying that i learned so much in 2007 doesn't say anything at all. it was like i put on reality glasses and saw the truth in people. I looked inside myself, and saw a total stranger in january, and checked back in again, today, December 31 2007, and recognized a long lost friend.
2007: IT HAPPENED. it was destined to happen the moment i took a vacation from reality years ago, it been happening for 365 days, and it will always happen in my soul. this amazing year, this amazing scrapbook will always be open for me.

coolidge, arizona II

i thought this would be funny.
i'm still in the library in Arizona, still at the computer, and the gangster is still sitting next to me. but he's on now.
anyway- out of the 5 people on computers, the only people under 18 would be...me and the gangster. the other three are WAY over their 70s.
the phrase "making a racket" suddenly came to mind.
one of the ladies all of a sudden yelled, "Haw do ya tuurn the vaaaluuuumme dowwn? it's hurtan mah earzzz!"
and the man next t0 her tried to shove his library card into some random slot in the computer, to "activate" it, and ended up cussing at the computer and saying computers were "gafts frum duh Deval."
and the man next to him is humming some military song from when he served in the Vietnam War, telling us "kids" to "chairish the freedum y'all have, yunguns!"
i told y'all this before, and i'm tellin' y'all again:
I LOVE THIS PLACE.

coolidge, arizona

i'm in a library in arizona.
right now. and jeeeez....
quiet has a new meaning in this place.
i'm in one of those towns where there's exactly 100 people and everyone knows everything about everyone else.
where there are more seniors than teens. where there isn't a mcDonald's, but about 10 coffee houses.
and the internet on the 5 computers in this library takes 15 minutes to load the home page.
coolidge, arizona is one of those cities where the gangsters are decent teenage guys that go around with gangster jackets and call the library their hangout. like the "gangster" sitting next to me, with a lip ring, typing something up on Microsoft Word.
it's one of those towns where there's Main Street, which is perpendicular to 1st, 2nd, and 3rd street. and then you get to a field, and if you don't stop there, you hit a bunch of chickens and cows.
i love these towns, because everyone is polite, and they still say ma'm and sir and how do you do, miss?
the place smells like coffee and caramel and hot chocolate and i have to go now because my time on the computadora is up.
happy holidays! from Coolidge, Arizona.

my christmas wishlist

stare up at the sun.
for a little while.

the warmth on your shoulder.
the smell of freshly cut grass.

blue sky.
gentle, warm breeze.

why should we ask for more,
when we already have so much?

this christmas
i want the sun in a bottle,
i want the breeze in a bag,

so on a rainy day i can let it out.
my sunny umbrella, sadnes bouncing off the top.

only my feet will get wet and cold and miserable.

the weatherman says it will rain most of next week.

please put the blue sky on my shoelaces.

Hollow

Hollow.

it’s a sickening feeling.
like there’s nothing in you heart.
a dead heart.
it’s a lonely feeling.
like there’s nothing in your life.
nothing to wish for, nothing to look forward to.
you want to cry.
you want to feel the tears running down your face.
you want to sob, feel like there’s not enough air to fill your lungs,
anguish racking your body.
it’s a frustrating feeling.
because you know that crying will make it feel better.
but you can’t.
it’s a feeling of despair.
of hate.
and pain and sadness, tearing at your soul, ripping it apart,
blocking out the brightness of the sun, of life.
a black heart, discolored with days of biting your tongue and averting everyone’s eyes.
a useless soul, lost its power with days spent drowning in sorrow.
and all you can do is think about what you did that was so wrong.
and hope for it to be over.
but you wake up the next day,
with dry eyes and a crying soul.
a silent, terrible scream.

one and two.

there are two doves that live in our backyard-
sleep in the avocado tree-
bathe in the sun by the tangerines-
they've been here for so long they only move a little when you get too close.
don't even bother about flying away.

they know me, i can recognize them,
boyfriend and girlfriend-
or is it husband and wife?
always together, always one and two, mr. and mrs.,
never seen one without the other.

i went to the backyard this morning and
under the avocado tree was a
small heap of feathers.
and feathers on the tree,
feathers caught in the cobwebs under the wheelbarrow,
feathers in the pail of water.

and bathing in the sun by the
tangerine tree,
was a lonely dove,
one without the other. and
when i went up close, he flew away-
left for good-
and feathers all over the yard
are still reminding me of his soul mate that is no longer in our yard either,
she's taken off in her best friend's heart,
flying along with him,
her shadow following his wherever he will go.

i ain't gonna say that.

stupid cat.

what do you mean, domesticated feline- can you really call a cat domesticated when it comes up behind one of your birds that lives in the backyard and attacks it?

there are feathers all over the yard, and the wind isn't helping.

i wanted to save a feather- just one feather!- to remind me of the bird that lived in our yard for at least 3 years. so long that it wasn't even afraid of me.
but before i could take a feather my mom swept most of them up and dumped them in the trash. right before my eyes.

and what was i supposed to say? "No! don't do it, i want to save a feather to remember the birds!" yea right. i'm not a little kid. i'm not little miss kimmy. i'm not 3' 5" anymore. i'm 5' 3". i don't need to save something to remember them, i'm too big for that.
but i was sitting at the computer for the entire afternoon, and there was only one feather left, right in the middle of the patio, ready to blow away if there was a stonger gust of wind, and almost every 1/2 hour i would remember the birds- no, i would try to imagine the struggle between the cat and that poor, poor bird, like a little kid, like i was little miss kimmy, 3' 5" and not likely to grow taller than 5 feet.

i couldn't take it anymore. i jumped up, threw open the sliding door, grabbed the puny feather and shoved it in my pocket like a worthless relic- prized, and yet not cared for at the same time- grabbed the shoes outside, and explained to mom the cause for running outside into the cold and bringing the shoes back in: "the shoes are going to be soaked if there's a lot of humidity tonight."

i ran into my room and put my prized relic onto one of my bookcases, and later, my mom came in with a very weird face, asking me why there were 3 pairs of shoes and sandals on my bed. i just can't trust my own memory, to put the shoes by the hallway. and what was i supposed to say: "um...well...the reason for going outside was to actually pick up a feather so i can remember the birds that lived in our house for so long, because if you really want to know the truth, i loved those birds, and i will miss them, i'll miss their chirping and their inseperableness, and the love they had for each other, becuase, really, if you think about it, you barely ever see that in people."

forget it. i ain't gonna say that.

Innoncence

remember the time when people were just good or bad
but mostly good?

you trusted everyone; until DARE told you not to accept candy from strangers, and then you wondered, "Why?"

people were one faced; what you saw in public was what you would expect to see at home, at school, they would have the same personality everywhere.

remember the time when you didn't understand why your parents would go to a party and come back annoyed because of some of the people there- and you thought they were perfectly wonderful because they had a jumping house for you and all the other little kids?

and you couldn't understand why your mom didn't like those certain people in your family and you couldn't understand why- they always gave really nice Christmas presents!

those times- i cherish. the world was just one big piece, so simple, so easy to understand, every question was easy to answer, no thinking involved.

and now- i see people so much differently, i try to look for the second face before i see their first face.

as we get older, we try to see the whole picture of everyone, their entire personality, we try to guess what they're like when they're not in public. we look for the secret part of everyone.

it's just not like it used to be.

and in some ways, that's okay.

we can't live our life feeling cheated, in the end, because as it turns out-

those people in the party were all stuck up and conceited,

and it turns out that those certain people in my family that my mother doesn't like

are unemployed and are asking for money and to stay at our house-

and now, i ask- why doesn't he have a job? what happened to him? is he lazy? i don't want a lazy person in our house. did he ever do something bad?

and to think that i used to like him, just because of a nice christmas present he bought me, years and years ago.

------------------

i'm posting at 7 in the morning. don't know why. so please don't ask, because it is truly a little embarassing.

mixed up like jambalaya

i thought i knew what i was going to write about
but then i read everyone's posts and my
feelings- and ideas -of what to write about are
mixed up like jambalaya.

right now i guess i'm pretty sad because of what Sabrina wrote...- that feeling of hollowness and being able to cry and not wanting to- and then wanting to and not being able to.

so what i'll write about...
the way i spent my thanksgiving.

my dad came back from Louisiana
so it was a REAL thanksgiving this year. Well- as real as my family's traditional thanksgivings can get, which is.... not your generic type of big turkeys with mounds of cranberries and mashed potatoes.
no, it was- normal. for my family.

we went to a Thai restaurant in the heart of Los Angeles.
Palm's Thai Food takes up half a block and is always teeming with people. The LA hotspot? Palm's is the place to be.
Very chic.
upscale.
hot.
They even have this Thai man in his 40s singing Elvis hits. Dressed exactly like Elvis, of course.
Didn't I tell you this place was hot?

Sitting in the table next to me were a group of Pilgrims. Yes, "adults" in their 30s, men in their Quaker hats and suits looking a lot like Abraham Lincoln, and women with their scarves and modest black dresses. And looking at the "fashion" nowadays, they could have passed as regulars.

So there I was, with mom and dad, eating pad thai and fried rice, fried quail in pepper sauce, fried trout in mango sauce, beef sa-tae in spicy peanut sauce, and chicken and pork stuffed with what i like to call "mystery stuffing", which of course came with what i would also like to call "mystery sauce". That Thai food is really big on exotic sauce. We had everything to eat but the turkey. Which was fine with us.

AND SO THERE WE WERE, at Palm's Thai Food for Thanksgiving dinner. Stuffing ourselves with exotic food tingling and burning our tongues, listening to an Elvis impersonater churn out "hound dog" and "fools in love", with Pilgrims dancing next to me.

all this fun without a turkey and some formal dinner with white tablecloths and cranberry sauce and carbonated apple juice in a fancy look alike champagne bottle so it's kid friendly.

Who knew?

So what AM i really thankful for?
Well, that i'm not a turkey.

hold up, i'll do it tomorrow

i'm a bad procrastinator.
no- scratch that- i'm not bad at procrastinating...i'm actually very good at it.what i'm bad at is finishing the work i've procrastinated on.

because i know i have work to do- i just don't do it. <-- that part is normal
and then it comes to the last minute work- when i have to finish it- and i say,nah. i'll do it at lunch <-- that's the sad part.like right now.

i have a HUGE essay- well not huge, but...
big-due on Wednesday-
and i know i'll have lots and lots of homework due wednesday already-
and i'm choosing to do the essay...
tomorrow.

smart, right?
right.

Dear Reader of this letter...

I've been sitting here for 10 min. already. Thinking of what to write... And i still have no idea.
So I'll just go with "default" and paste a very interesting homework assignment my Spanish teacher Mr. Yarnton gave my class to do. And get this. The assignment is written in English.
I guess Mr. Yarnton is the guy that sets up "every 15 min." at our school. We were all agreeing with him when he said that we never really get to say "goodbye" to someone before they die, and so he said... for homework, i want you to write a goodbye note. What you would say to your family and friends, how you're not ever going to see them again, and all the things you wish you could have said.
And I guess I was feeling a little pessimistic when I wrote it...
------------
The photo album, the Barbie Dolls, the letters, the phone calls at 2 a.m., the sleepovers, the laughter, the inside jokes. Disneyland, Sea World, San Diego Zoo, ice cream, soda, crushes. School, lunch, secret clubs- password? girl power; pretty please, hand games, tag, handball. With time, they fade. An old photograph, yellowing with time. With time, my bones will turn to dust, scattered by the wind. Will I miss anyone? With time, they fade. My family, my friends, get blurred with time. Show me a picture of them. Tomorrow, I’ll forget the necklace, that they were wearing earrings. With time, their faces fade, the memories fade. Tell me you showed me a picture of them in a year. I won’t remember that you did. They’ll see me soon, no regrets that I’m leaving too soon, didn’t even get to college yet, but- I’ll see them soon, maybe, maybe. I don’t miss anyone, no, it’s okay, whatever, no biggie.
But- the sun on my back, the cool rain on my face, the breeze, sitting in the shade, the grass, the dew, the flowers- the roses- the sun on my back- the warmth, the happiness, the security.
I won’t get that again.
I’ll miss that.
That’s what matters to me in my life, that’s what I regret, having the things that will be here forever- taken away from me.
No, not family, not friends- they fade, they come and go, they’re never the same, always change.
But nature- the birds, the lizard on the stairway, the sun.

And try to take it away from me,
close my eyes.

But I can still see the sun, feel the warmth, the raindrops on my face, falling, falling,
the cool grass, green, sitting.

When I go the sun will still shine, the breeze will still blow, nothing will change.

So is this goodbye? Will I go to the next world? I didn’t know there was such thing. I will leave- I’ll be gone-that life- my life- will just…float away.

A life with no major regrets- but not carefree, filled with pain and anger and loss, yes- but beauty that shines from the sun, shows itself in weeping willows, whispers in the breeze. That life.

My life.

Name: Kimberly Renee Ngai Age: FIFTEEN!!!!!!!!! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So now I'm 15 years old. *gasp*
thanks everyone for the nice b-day wishes. it was great :)

I got home on Friday and I did exactly nothing until 11 p.m., when I finally decided to use my brain for a little while and I started to talk to my mom... and remind her that it was only going to be my b-day for 1 more hour.

and that's when she said it.
that's when she said that itty bitty little sentence...that got me thinking and gloomy and sooo sad that i almost started to cry. it was that feeling of regret. horrible feeling.

and this is what she said:
"15 already? well, did you ever think about the fact that you're never, EVER going to be 14 again?"

I was pissed when she said that. Really really pissed.
I realize how stupid this must sound...but seriously! I'm never going to be 14 for the rest of my life. obviously. but-

On the day before my birthday i was so excited to be 15, I never even thought for a nanosecond about the 365 days I had lived, being 14 years old...I never even thought about anything that happened to me...not one memory, not one happy one, not one moment that i lived, not one moment that i lived for.

And now that it's gone...

now that it's gone...


there's a poem that someone wrote, i forgot the author... but one of the stanzas stuck with me.

"It seemed to mean so little,
looking back- meant so much...
my fingertips, little strings attached on the ends
drawing me towards my fate.
my fate,
the past."

so now i'm 15 and i'm going to remember this moment,
me, sitting at the computer at 10:01 p.m., October 14, 2007, thinking about tomorrow,
anxious because my homework is half done.

I haven't changed much.

That Small Thing.

Friday-
again.

The week passed by so fast- too fast-
again.

I need time, I need to find time, I need to make time-
to turn around-
calm down-

and think about the days that have flown
by.

Because people say, “What is the point of life?”

To live it with a purpose, surely.

But… what purpose? What am I doing-
everyday-
that I will remember and when I’m 85 years old-
I’ll tell myself that it was worthwhile?

Everyday-
I go to school. Get through my 7 classes. And then-
go home, do my homework,
watch TV.,
play piano (fat chance)
and go to sleep.

You could only say I have a life-
on the weekends. It seems like the world wakes up on
Friday night, the world wakes up from 5 days
in a coma.

2 days of bliss, and then-
the cycle starts all over again.

---------------------------------------

So.
Friday-
again.

The week came and went.
I got time, I found time, I made time-
to turn around-
to calm down-

and think about the days that have flown
by.

Because people say, “What is the point of life?”

To live life with a purpose,
to find that small thing
in each and every single day
that puts a smile on my face-

to find that small moment in that never ending day
that I’ll remember for the rest of my life

that makes me think about who I am-
and how I will be in the future.

It makes all the difference in my day,

It makes all the difference between a vicious cycle
and a circle of life,

It makes all the difference between who I am
and who I could have been.

But-
don’t dwell on the past for too long-

because they are cannibals, these memories,

and they will eat you alive,
they will drown you with overwhelming emotions.

So.
Look forward, too. Look to the future.
And try to make yourself a better person.

Better than yesterday-

and tomorrow- better than
today.

-----------------------------------
that’s it.
I’ve worn myself out.

No more meaningful posts until…

until I find time to calm down,
think about yesterday…

and hopefully my memories won’t eat me up.

All my <3, Kim

Well, Dr. Poff got it right. I'm one of the ranting bloggers.
I try to write something meaningful... but it always comes out in this weird, twisted way.
God.

I try to talk about politics. But people say it's boring.
Who cares about politics? Elections are next year. Fred Thompson and Bill Richardson could be your neighbors, for all you would know.

So what is meaningful to people? Sabrina writes about life going on...extra credit...Amanda writes about killing crickets and tired tuesdays...and Tooba talks about kids in some baren ghost town in New Mexico. yay.

But I have profound moments too. Big, profound, the lump-in-your-throat-so-it's-hard-to-swallow moments where you get all misty eyed.
But by the time I get home and plunk myself infront of the computer at 9:30 p.m., that feeling's gone and is replaced with frustration and annoyance and countless other things.
And my big moments are left to take their rightful place in my brain: at the bottom, congealing and decaying so that by the next day they're gone.
And then it happens all over again.

But something that's bothering me right now? Go ask my personal psychologist, Sabrina Syed. She gets paid big bucks for having to listen to my rants and complaints and...everything else.

But one thing that's taking hold of my mind? PERFECTIONISTS.
Is there even such thing as a perfectionist?
People aren't perfect. But..they try to be. And why try to be perfect? People like you for who you are...they like you for your interesting personality and you humor and your outlook on life. So why try to be someone that you can never be? It bothers me.
It really, really does.
The people that redo their homework because of an accidental crinkle they made on their paper from an eraser...
Come on.
It annoys people.
It annoys me, anyway.

I learned something really interesting from someone last year.
BE YOU...AND BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE.

key word: proud.













so. this is my blog. i'm ranting again. maybe it's not me to be telling people that life goes on. i'll think of something smart to say for tomorrow. hopefully it'll blow someone away. i'll try to remember my profound moments. they're quite moving. really.

IN 15 YEARS.

In 15 years, I'll be 30.
I tell people that and they're like, "well, duh. duh, duh, duh."
But it's not just DUH.
30 is like... having a husband and possibly kids.
30 is like...having a job and working and...driving.
30 is like...done with school and having to think about things like mortgages and taxes and what to buy at the market tomorrow and was it a mistake to get this pair of jeans and did I pay the electrical bill yet?

Just thinking about when I'm going to be 30-
i get that feeling of unease, kind of like before a piano recital. It's...not the best feeling in the world.

But when I was little- and I didn't think of taxes and bills and downpayments to make on homes- I imagined myself in New York City walking to work everyday, passing Time Square on the way to my office in a Georgio Armani business suit with stiletto heels and a Louis Vuitton purse. And walking my jack russel terrier in Central Park on the weekends. With a cat in my penthouse in Trump Tower...

And that way of thinking has stuck with me. (well except for I'll be living in Boston, instead of NYC-it's nicer) It's the fact that i've set such high standards for myself- and dreamt about them, even, that i can't let go of my goal to be rich and happy, the ultimate elite city girl. Are my standards too high?

I don't even know for sure what college i want to go to, I don't even know for sure if i want to be a biochemist. I don't want a husband, I definately don't want kids, I want lots and lots of good friends with a nice life. I want to have parties in my apartment and invite my family over and show them that I, Kimberly Renee Ngai, am a successful woman with a wonderful life.

So what is the point, exactly, of writing all of this?
I don't know. Maybe to prove to everyone that I CAN BE SOMEONE.
People always tell me I need to stop stressing before tests and that I am overachieving in almost everything that I do.
But look at how i want my life to be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Look at the standards I've set for myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So you just wait. Give me 15 years.
Find me in 15 years and you'll see that the stressing and overachieving paid off. YOU JUST WAIT.

Friday!!!!

Well...today is Friday. Already. I can't believe how fast the days are passing. Well I'm not going to the Homecoming dance on Sat. and since it's about 7:50 p.m., everyone at the football game is ready to figure out who Homecoming King and Queen are... GO TYTUS!!!!!!! :D

Not much is going on in the political world...well except for the president of Iran is coming to America and he wanted to visit Ground Zero...but of course Pres. Bush said no.
I visited Ground Zero this summer and I thought there would actually be an open space for everyone to look at. Not really. There was fencing, and tarp was covering the fence so the only way people would be able to see the site would be through holes in the tarp. The monument that is going up in place of the World Trade Centers isn't all that great. Everyone expected it to be something big and beautiful and symbolic, but to me, it looks like any other building. Oh well.

We don't have cable TV anymore. :(
So now I can't watch CNN and the Travel Chanel and Discovery Chanel and Animal Planet...and HGTV. You'd be suprised how much you can learn on HGTV.
At least I have ABC (dancing with the stars!) and Fox ( for the Simpsons)...

okay, well... that's my report!

for sabrina.

i know. i'm blogging again. on the same day. almost at the same time. i feel like a geek but i have to write this because... JUST because. this is mostly for sabrina though... yes, a post dedicated to her, because i know she will like this.

sabrina.....sabrina.
do you remember the time in 9th grade...
when we laughed until we almost died?
the time you put all of our notes into a black folder and called it blackmail?
the time i did summersaults down the hill?
the time...
the time...
the time...
OH SABRINA. do you remember going into the staff lounge and taking butcher paper? do you remember the yellow butcher paper...the blue butcher paper... the red yarn?
do you remember...
yearbook class? wired baron? our premature start to CSF?

last year. last year, last year, last year.

god i miss it.
maybe i need a psychologist to lable my feelings.
or maybe i just have some random disliking toward psychologists...
or maybe not so random.

PEER COURT!

Wow. Peer court… IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!!!!! it was one of the really great experiences I’ve had at FVHS… something only second to International Week :P

So I was one of the nine jurors in the first case, trying to decide what kind of punishment I should give to an 18 year old that was driving without a license. Can't say much about it here because then it wouldn't be confidential (i feel important saying that) :)

I was a little nervous volunteering for juror because I have almost no idea about laws and all of that stuff. It's all still pretty new to me, but the whole idea of PEER court is pretty cool becuase we can relate to how the guilty people feel and why they might have committed those crimes.

It was such a good experience being a juror, I'm SO GOING TO DO JURY DUTY when I'm an adult. I wish that they had peer court every month...but then I'd probably be better off doing mock trial, right? Oh well, at least I'm in MUN.

School is going pretty good right now, apart from all the homework and seriousness of lots of my classes (Wired baron doesn't really make it on that list) :D. Guess i'm just so used to last year, where everyone was still chasing each other in class and making the most random remarks. But it was fun. lots and lots of fun...

okay so now the political corner:

HILLARY CLINTON. man, she is insane. so insane that she's probably, MOST PROBABLY going to win the election. There aren't a lot of people that are still for the Republicans, and Clinton is just the smartest and most fit for the presidency. So lots and lots of years ago, when her hair was still poofy and long and her husband wasn't even president yet, she was campaigning for a healthcare plan that nobody was for. So here she is now, going for the same healthcare plan...and it looks like people might accept it. I feel like we're in a time warp or something. Hillary Clinton is going for the same healthcare plan that she was for over a decade ago, and OJ Simpson is back in court. WOW.

Kay, g2g and start my homework...at 10 p.m. Wish me luck. :)

take a look at the GINORMOUS picture

So at school today I was talking to my friend who’s in World History and she was telling me about how she’s in the “ghetto” class. She’s not very happy about sitting in a class where all the people around her are asking things like, “What’s a government?” or “What’s a law?” or even “Who the heck is George Bush?”. She has one of the highest grades (106%) because she’s one of the few people that does their homework and gets it signed. So after I cracked up, I really started to ask myself why there's always group of kids at school, or a few groups of kids that are so far behind. And truthfully, is it just their fault, or is there someone else to blame?
But as I looked at the BIG picuture, the GINORMOUS picture, it's not just at FVHS were there is a group that's always trailing far behind. I spent my summer in the southern states (ex. Louisiana, Mississippi), and that's where the idea first popped into my head. I don't want to be mean, and I certainly don't mean to discriminate, but it's a fact that in the United States, there are WAY fewer African-Americans that go to college, than, let's say, Asians. And sure, whenever Rev. Jesse Jackson is speaking in public, he says the reason for why his race is behind everyone else's is because of slavery and discrimination. But the generation of slavery is long gone. So why are they still behind?
I'm going to make my answer brief...short...and concise. :) It's not only the kids' fault that he's not doing so great in school, it's also the parents' fault. They're the ones that set the examples for their kids. If Dad's out of work and sitting around the house watching TV, the example that he's going to set for his kids will be one of laziness and unproductivity. His son won't know any better. The parent takes the initiative to set the example for his kids, whether positive or negative. So if Dad does nothing everyday, his son will learn from that and fail at school. When the son gets married and has a kid, he's going to teach his son the same thing- that work doesn't matter. If that keeps going from generation to generation that race will fall farther and farther behind. But let's take another step back and see everyone as an individual. It's their job, and nobody else's, to make sure that they are setting a good example for the next generation. Of course it's possible for people to catch up, only if everyone is given a fair chance and opportunity. I always hear people saying, "Asians are smart." But not all Asians are smart; it's mostly because AN INDIVIDUAL'S parents urge them to study and try hard. And if everyone could do that...if everyone's parents could do that and set a good example, then we wouldn't have a group of kids at FVHS, or anywhere else in the world that would be behind.


WOW I realize I wrote like...a very lengthly and unorganized essay. Oh well, it's modified day today and I don't have that much homework (never thought I'd type that).
So is any1 keeping an eye on '08 elections????? McCain seems to be getting back A LITTLE into the race. Too bad he's almost broke. :D

FIRST POST!!!!!!!

Oooooh, first post in my entire life. What a geek, what a geek.
SATURDAY. the best day of the week, where you can sleep late...and wake up on Sunday to a mountain of homework.
Soooo... i attempted to start my homework today but no luck, i don't have any pressure to finish it yet, so i'll just wait until Sunday night to get a leeeetle heart attack. maybe i'll finish it in zero period :) on Monday.
maybe.

Hopefully some other day like tomorrow i'll write a little more... i'll write something with substance...and it'll be so interesting your eyes will pop out of their sockets. hey sabrina...maybe i'll talk about the time you poured soda down your nose... :P